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Happy Oscar night, everyone! The Oscars, as pointless and overtly political as they may be, are like my Superbowl, and it’s hard not to get swept into the excitement surrounding the proceedings. Partly I’m excited for Oscar season to be over, but the event is starting soon and I thought I’d share my predictions! This year I’ve got money on the line so hopefully these people actually win a statuette or two…

Best Picture: This was the hardest category for me, because this is the first year in a while where I was actually happy with each nominee (with the exception of Inside Llewyn Davis’ absence, of course), and genuinely liked each film chosen. I think it’ll be a close race between American Hustle and 12 Years A Slave, and I’ve seen several lists that definitively predict that one will absolutely win over the other. In other words, no one knows what the hell is going to happen. Personally, I think 12 Years A Slave should take home the award, but I have a sneaking suspicion that American Hustle will come out on top.

Best Actor: Matthew McConaughey! Alright alright alright. This is his year, and I never thought I’d say this, but he’s become one of my favorite actors working today. Totally deserves this one.

Best Actress: Cate Blanchett. I think Amy Adams stands a chance solely because of how much unbelievable praise is given to her performance, but Blanchett will walk away with the gold.

Best Supporting Actor: Jared Leto. Just give it to him now.

Best Supporting Actress: Lupita Nyong’o deserves this. Absolutely. The fact that people are rooting for Jennifer Lawrence is baffling. Yes, she was the best thing in American Hustle, but I doubt the Academy will give her two Oscars in a row, especially with Nyong’o as the frontrunner.

Best Director: Alfonso Cuaron. Otherwise, why the hell is this even an award? I can’t think of a filmmaker who’s been more deserving in YEARS.

Best Animated Feature: Frozen, of course. Is it the best animated movie of the year? Probably not. But it just joined the billion dollar club and we all still have “Let It Go” stuck in our heads.

Best Cinematography: Gravity. It probably won’t win much outside of the technical categories, which is okay. Because the movie is a technical masterpiece on all fronts and is beautiful as hell.

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Best Costumes: American Hustle. The Great Gatsby might swipe this one, but I have a feeling people are more willing to forget that movie than they are to forget Hustle.

Best Documentary: The Square. The Act of Killing stands a chance, but now that The Square is available on Netflix and is more topical than Killing, I think it’ll come out on top. Should it win? No. But remember what they did to Exit Through The Gift Shop? 

Best Documentary Short: Prison Terminal: The Last Days of Private Jack Hall. I’m totally guessing here. In fact, I cheated and read someone else’s list. Sue me.

Best Film Editing: Gravity. Though whoever edited The Wolf Of Wall Street is a goddamn genius.

Best Foreign Language Film: Again, just guessing here, but I think The Great Beauty will win. I’m rooting for The Hunt though, because Mads Mikkelsen is in it and, well… he’s Mads fuckin’ Mikkelsen.

Best Original Score: Gravity. Like I said, lots of technical categories.

Best Makeup and Hairstyling: Dallas Buyers Club. Because giving Bad Grandpa an Oscar isn’t the Academy’s style and though I enjoyed The Lone Ranger, no one else seems to admit that they even watched it.

Best Original Song: “Let It Go.” Oh man, now I have to listen to it again. Thanks a lot.

Best Production Design: Gravity! 

Best Animated Short: Get a Horse! Haven’t seen it. Or any of the nominated short films. I was too busy watching the real movies.

Best Live Action Short: Helium, I guess?

Best Sound Editing: Gravity. Because man, those long takes of silence while the space station gets blown to bits was terrifying. 

Best Sound Mixing: Wait, what’s the difference between this one and Sound Editing? Give this one to Gravity as well. Why not?

Best Visual Effects: Yep. Gravity. Hands down.

Best Adapted Screenplay: Though I’d love Wolf of Wall Street to nab this one, I’m guessing Philomena. Not as depressing as 12 Years A Slave, and a pretty well written movie.

Best Original Screenplay: Her, I hope. Because that movie was fantastic, and American Hustle was good, but not because of its screenplay.

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And that’s it! I’ll be sure to post something about the results once the overly long ceremony is over. What are your picks? Let me know in the comments below!

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